Fit The Mold

Wow. What a whirlwind vacation! I am happy to be home; my Husband & puppies were pleasantly surprised to see us last night – early 2 days and after 2 weeks of absence.

Due to technical difficulties (which I am working on) I cannot upload the sim card from my camera to show a taste of the Car Craft Nationals car show over the weekend.

Even though I did NOT stick to My pre-planned Refeeding schedule...You know, the eating every 2.5 hours with rest/naps… I continued on the LIMU, LEAN & copious amounts of Blu Frog.
I was dreading coming home & stepping on My scale for absolute fear that I had dropped pounds. i did not want to go through the extreme disappointment i would feel when faced with the Truth (in #’s) with My failure to keep on schedule.
To my complete & excited surprise I am a Solid 110, teetering 111 & settled on solid 110. I could hardly believe that although my eating was “skewed” - as compared to “Normal” “Anorexia Recovery” Standards, i.e. Refeeding Scheduled Times - my dedication to continue in the only Healthy regime option I have, the LIMU Brand of premium Fucoidan line of products, has once again produced results.

My husband had questioned me all along on trip about My eating habits. Honestly, I replied that I was at 1 meal daily (by the beginning of the car show on Friday) WITH all 3 of the LIMU products and maybe some snack at some point in the day.
At that point he was concerned as one of my reasons for the vacation with my parents & children were to have the time to “just eat”. Here I was doing the exact opposite of what i set out to do --- Physically.

I may have stumbled on the solid food part (yet again – Ugh!) but this time with my (blood) Family has really been a Blessing as far as my knowledge, understanding & Enlightenment is concerned.

A Healthy Mind IS AS Important as a Healthy Body, for without the Mind, the Body cannot have optimal performance.

For the 1st time ever I was able to actually see My Parents & my upbringing (as far as Food goes). I was taken aback to see that Mom was Not always in the kitchen cooking for us. I have no idea where I ever got That notion for as the trip progressed, I started to “feel” the memories of the fact that Mum really did Not eat all that much. She is Very Healthy – don’t get me wrong! However, her snacks consisted of 4 crackers & a piece of cheese. Dinner was a “decent” portion although not “goodly” and she ate it when She was ready even though the dinner was on the table at 6pm since forever.
i looked to My Dad and to my utter amazement Not even He ate a whole bunch. He is also Very Healthy which perplexed Me as I had the notion that he was a Big eater because he’s 10 feet tall & bullet proof. Can’t get That way without food right? His snacks were much the same with maybe a couple more than Mum. His ‘meal’ portion was appropriate for a man his age & weight although he too only ate 1 “real full meal” a day.

I looked closer at My choices for the meal times & saw that they were appropriate & even goodly at the times when I was most relaxed. A few times it was like choking down rocks like the vegetable soup cup incident. The others were just a real normal meal plate.

Last night i was taking with Wayne about the trip and he said the most profound thing:

“You are Completely Normal. I thought you just took after Your Mom, but now I see that Your Dad is the same way about the whole eating thing. You are Normal for YOUR gene pool. Your body is Not made to take in as much as the “average” person. Your body is Designed to take in food in smaller portions and at different times a day than the said ‘normal’.” He said this as I was enjoying a HungryMan ™ t.v. dinner with 1050 calories at midnight.

So when I stepped on the dreaded scale this morning to see My great progress – of NOT falling backward – this enlightenment was again recalled in my brain. The anxiety was gone.

Tonight, i feel as if a Huge weight has been lifted. I have been studying the human body, genetics, cells and the whole gambit for 3 years and with My memories being kept away from me, I could not see the obvious: Genetically predisposed for Anorexia.

There is Nothing wrong with My Family’s eating habits or schedule because they are all healthy even though we don’t fit the mold per se. I was the only one to take it to the extreme - over the edge if You will.

With this “new” knowledge & remembrances of days long ago & teachings of my youth, I am filled with a Peace that i could not have imagined & Strength to finish The Road, 2BRecoverED, once & for all; to round the next & last bend for the Land of RecoverED is just ahead.

Now I’m back at home and my nose to the grinding stone as I piece the puzzle together with these tools & knowledge I’ve gained along the way. A Good Friend told me that there would be 1 last big battle between AN & Me before this path was finished; I’m inclined to believe that spending time with my roots has proved to be a Big battle that we sailed through with flying colors.

In the next 4 weeks is My big push to reach my goal – 117 – 120 pounds.

I realize that may sound like such a small “number” but for My Body & genes it really Does fit ME.
I’ve been trying all my life to fit a mold imposed on Me from society, friends, parents & AN Self.
I’m starting to see the light at the end of this long dark tunnel as I learn that the only mold to Be is Me.

Blessings of Peace & Health, Enlightenment & Prosperity to You!

Barbara A Thornton
Lady Limu