Separating at the seam

I heard the most interesting thing about 10 minutes ago as I was
rearranging the look & info on my blog.
Just as I was about to Do something, I heard,
"We should do this..." followed by some sort of unspoken agreement
& whatever the ... was -
that task was completed without much effort or fuss.

I realize that conversation in my head may seem to You
on the Outside of EDs
to be No big deal.
As This Was My initial reaction too.

The fact that I heard "WE Should" was, on one side a very
comforting sentance since I had not heard it often
in the past couple of years.

To my wonderment it was if an Old Friend had
Finally stopped for a visit & chat.
Just like days of old, We were together and sharing equally
of this same space and time with no worries, fights or shame
simply at ease to be ONE Together again.

To enjoy each other's Inclusion in Mind AND Task was a
serene illusion for the instant Joy i felt knowing that
I was Not alone Inside because my
AN did still reside where for now we are on
tentative speaking terms.

With all My hard work with My Health, weight Gain
and tools to learn, i have not had the time or strength
to spend With her.

So to Hear An speak to Me
Was a strange & unexpected incident.

Then I got to "thinking" as it was deep inside,
the thoughts hidden behind that veil so
only the sense of a strange
"feeling" that something was wrong.

I continued on in Our tasks however the clock
I could no longer remiss as the minutes did pass.
Knowing it had been 2 hours since I awoke and only 1 shot o' juice
with all the coffe did I ingest,
those words which were so sweet & welcoming at first
became a sick mantra to keep Me from passing the feeding test.

I rose from this seat & box, my work left "incomplete"
to the kitchen I Did Go,
pouring a Full glass of whole mik with No water
I poured my 2 scoops of LEAN in.

Only seconds in the Magic Bullet & my meal was ready,
insert straw and have a seat again to Thank the Lord for My
LIMU treat & His help to get it down.

Then to get back to where I started to blog,
to open My Mind, push aside this fog and veil
to see, & understand the Difference between
The Voice and Me.

you, Voice of AN, are very cunning as you've always been.
Thank you for coming out to say a few words once again.
Please feel free to say what you like, any time of day or night.

I have the Right to respond and so I will
for this veil between you & Me is separating at the seams.

It IS I, My dear AN, that did sew the curtain behind which i am now hid.
Yes you gave the pattern, materials & even showed Me how to do it.
In the end It is still My Creation to do with what I will and Mine Is
to have Complete control over this Body & Mind.

Time has come to pass for you, AN, to grasp the reality of the situation.
You may have your say with the Voice
but No longer can the 2 of you choose what I decide to Do
with My body & mind.
Say what you will but soon (& this you know too) I will be a resident
of The Land called RecoverED
where you - AN and the Voice - are the one behind the veil.

"WE Should" - NOTHING!

I AM going 2BRecoverED!

May the Lord Jesus Bless You with His Mercy & Grace for Peace & Health,
Enlightenment & Prosperity;
from Our home to Yours!

Wayne & Barbara A Thornton
Lady Limu