Wow, it has been a long time since i've visisted here. I guess i have have been so busy being busy.... that the time just slipped away. But that ol' familiar twinge has been seeting in; the one that is just beyond reach and can only be accesssed through pen and paper. I'm happy to upgrade to a keyboard though as it makes the words come faster and editing a brreze!
So, How You been, What have you been up to? I long to hear your reverie.
As for me, shortly after I left here, i went off the LEAN Meal Replacement Shakes however keeping the LIMU juice for My self and Family and of course Bean. By the way is doing just fine! His heartworms have been eliminated from his system and he is happy as a lark. We still drain the excess fluid from his abdomen every 2 weeks. Currently we have him on Lasix - a water pill or diuretic i think. Anyways it is supposed to help keep the fluid from building up so fast. The fluid retention is caused by heart or kidney failure and this drug Doc said is given to heart failure patients.
There I go again, off on a busy tangent.
There is just so much... the I's and me's are competing.
Such is life with AN (Anorexia Nervosa). Always distracting you from what is really happening.
Then the unseen paranoia.
Anyways, just a glimpse there.
The Holidays are always the worst for me. It starts with Haloween and doesn't end until near St. Patrick' Day.
I enjoy creating and maintaing our own website - Healthy Food and Supplements for Survival or (LadyLimu.com) for short. This is where i've been busy at work. It has allowed me to have a stable place of residence (if You will) where we can be in control of our visions for the future of our Families and businesses. A place where we can bring our talents together and happy to help other people Hope for the Best and Prepare for the Worse - our motto, creed and way of life.
It is my passion to bring hope and healing to... well, the world. (Aquarious and AN all or nothing mentality)
Wayne's passion comes through Functional art and knifesmithing.
So, I'm doing good and moving forward with our dreams of having our own website so that it can pay for Me being a stay at home mom and wife to a disabled man.
I think the scale would say otherwise; i thought about getting on this morning but passed off the thought to go to work. Wayne has told me in the past week that he has noticed I don't eat as much and look like I'm losing weight.
But, oh how easy it is to stay busy moving forward and trying Not to let the increasing paranoia and anxiety set in. There is so much to do that I had not realized that goes into a website. It has kept me quite busy just to stay on top of things and with dial-up speed, i simply don't Feel like I have enough hours in the day to "waste" My time eating and resting. (says the Unspoken AN Voice as it propels mySelf another endless hour).
Halloween wasn't so bad. My daughter and i worked at the Fall Festival at our church and i had a Blast. Being around all the children and their parents allowed me to be free. Laughter, hugs and candy were flowing and what could be any better?
Oh, see... tried to put this out of my mind - Dad's MDS. I've been real worried about this. Thankfully, Mom keeps him on high doses of LIMU ORIGINAL juice daily when he is with her. (Doc's won't let him have it) It took Mom just 3 Days on the juice to bring his white blood cell count to Double what it was after 80 day in the hospital after chemo treatment! Within 7 he was holding almost 3.0! Now he is currently cancer free and will be going in for a cord blood transplant the first of the New Year.
Yes, my Daddy weighs heavily on my mind. Can't think about the bad, must focus on what i know. The Nutrients in this juice IS working and My Dad is the healthiest MDS cancer patient to be at this stage of the game.
Thanksgiving came and went with plenty of food on the plate with the Family. I loaded the plate and seconds came happily. I enjoyed the tremendous amount of food and welcomed all the flavors. By now i think I didn't eat so much. I remember that i didn't eat many leftovers, mostly just the sweet potatoes.
In true AN fashion and form, it was around this time that I was forced to go within. Too many variables going on from all different sides that made my mind want to run and hide. Without the Nutrients and Protein from my shakes, the AN was ready to once again take shape.
An uncontrollable fear took hold that if I ever told what was happening in my life, it would cause others' strife. It's the Last thing an Anorexic wants to do - the Person would do anything to keep from hurting You.
The Confusion and Doubt must always stay within. It must never enter into the Friend or Family space. For these feelings are too hard to embrace so keep them to the self and Never let the secrets you know out. Too many people will be hurt once they know and loyaly is worth it's weight in gold.
So says that AN Voice now that it speaks!!
Is that what this horrid Feeling has been all about?
Then it occured to me that it has been too long since i've been allowed to speak.
Is it paranoia or is it forsight that has been gripping me? Is it the AN who refuses to die or is it really I that sometimes Does see?
Christmas was both a Blessing and a (commercial) curse. Both sides of me were distinctly parted equally between complete joy and despair. My Daughter was home for school break which doesn't always happen year to year. I could not have asked for a better gift than to have my children present.
Oh how i loved waking Christmas morn' with her and church together! Where celebrating the birth of Jesus and worshiping Him for all He has done for salvation, grace and merciful health to everyone flowed freely under the bright sun.
When time came to come home, My reaction was stark faced with knowing there were no presents to go under the non-existant tree. This Christmas for us like many around was extremely bleak. With only $280 a week coming in from all sources, we were happy to have the necessities of a home, lights and heat. But it doesn't leave anything for a Christmas treat.
That's ok I say because I'm working hard everyday.
Pretty soon, I'm getting calls and emails asking what this LIMU is all about. It's My Passion, it's my life. There's No Better Way to Be than when LIMU is put to Your body's test. It works every time to give a body what it needs.
Looks like I am finally fulfilling what was set before me. Get the information of what I have to offer like so many other LIMU Members are doing. I'm being true to myself, The Company and others by being honest and sincere with what I know.
The wrongs of the past forgiven, although hard forgotten I am renewed with Joy unspeakable at being able to help the first one then two, three and on to the four. You see, It's Not the money that I am interested in that the Company so easily acknowledges to be made. It is the Natural Healing and health alternative that I promote.
Ok AN just shut up! This is just paranoia springing up. There is no truth and my loyalty Will Not be tested. It is you, AN that must be rested!
I try to shrug this off as i immerse myself in work, studies and maintaining a home. However, to be honest, it has been easier to keep the peace at work as my mind is inefectual at home.
I now study website design and optimization in addition to a relentless need to understand more of the nutrients of seaweed and how Fucoidan affects the body so well.
It was today that i felt so strong about getting back 2B RecoverED and me.
Too much time has passed since I allowed me to breathe. What is bottled inside I do not know, but seeing ribs in the mirror is a sure sign that all is Not good to go.
I've disconnected from my Life, My dream come true - a Family and a Wife. I've been so wrapped up in making this LIMU Business of Mine a success that i have forgotten how to be an effective Mom and Wife.
I was along this line of thinking that i asked my Husband if it's true that I am crazy. This what I feel i'm becoming as my life is unraveling around this thing called LIMU. Sent to save Me and My Family from the destruction this Eating Disorder has me in. My attention and energy has all gone to promote an amazing alternative health product line that is uncomparable.
"Get in LIMU now at the ground floor," They told me, "Promote our products with this website and You will get Yours for Free." they told me.
What a Blessing to be able to help just a few and be rewarded with a case of juice!
Then (later today) I get a call from my Mother, the other Lady Limu who I gave my site to. I figured it was the least I could do was give her the website that I have grown. I cannot repay her for all she is to me so this was the least I could do you see.
She called to tell me an interesting story of her own about a person who came to her ladylimu.iamlimu.com website to start their own LIMU Experience with LadyLimu as her guide. I was overjoyed as you can imagine. On her way to providing my Dad what he needs to stay healthy as horse for free. The Limu Company system and websites working without a doubt.
Because LIMU liquid diet aid supplements are my Life Force and I've spent over 4 years dedicating my time and energy to the Study of Fucoidan and it's effects on the Human body, I had to dismiss the first signs of paranoia. I dismissed the thought at once and determined to cross My t's and dot my i's to prevent any human error in My presentation of The Blessing.
So 2011, The Company's Member Support told me to get my own website.
I could not share My Entire Limu Experience on my iamlimu site.
My Experience started with the hope I recieved when I heard about my Uncle Terry's Throat Cancer and how LIMU was killing the tumor. The chemo and radiation was Not affecting him at all, his body was able to not only survive but thrive during all this Simply Because he was getting These Nutrients in a bottle. The pictures were contraversial that Member support told me that if I wanted to publish them for Aunt Jane, I would have to go to GoDaddy.com or some other place and have a website of my own built. Neither Aunt Jane or I could publish these pictures with The Company.
This is where i have been all year. Immersed in doing what I believe is beneficial to others (and our Family and Friends) - bringing Good News of peace and health with joy and prosperity to You. With Healthy Food and Supplements for Survival featuring The Limu Company Products and Prosperity Plan. When one is Prepared for Future Disaster, there IS Hope. With a Healthy Body, anything is possible.
I've also been doing as i'm told. I am running my own business, both online and with everyday people I meet. I have been expanding our website, that I control. (I had to go through the Limu Company's Legal and Compliance Departments in order to go Live. Yeah, there's whole bunch of a rig-a-ma-role, it's ok, I comply.)
This is why i have not been back. The reason why i fell silent. The very aspect AN has used against me these past months. It knows that i cannot live without My LIMU. Anorexia Nervosa can Not survive With Nutrients - with This Liquid Diet.
What is AN's biggest tool?
Guilt.
If AN can evoke feelings of guilt, it will win every time.
How does AN make a person feel guilty?
By making the Person keep secrets.
Does it matter what the secrets are?
no.
the more the better.
the more people the secret will hurt, the better and more useful it is.
I Am Lady Limu, Barbara A. Thornton because I have witnessed the healing properties that The Limu Company products have to offer. I have endeavored to put my body and mind through the most gruelling places of starvation and Recovery. I have never claimed although it may have been implied that I am a success - in Financial Standards as the world implies.
It may have seemed through ommitance of certain truths that all this time I was receiving Free products. For this, i am truely sorry if I misled anyone in this way.
How do you...
How do You stop the Anorexia?
Break the SILENCE!
I can Not give in to this fight. I can Not be SILENT and give in. For these very products I completely believe in. So much so that the juice is the only thing standing between that retched AN and ME.
I'm happy to help You Dare 2B RecoverED from whatever health issue You may have. I've taken this body from the most extreme starvation state of being to a perfectly healthy body. I've lived through the Refeeding Syndrome a couple of times all using only The LIMU Brand of nutrition liquid diet supplements.
I enjoy taking Your calls and emails and always have time to Sponsor You.
If You have found me or Mom - Nancy (Dan) Ostman through the ladylimu.iamlimu.com site or barbarathornton.iamlimu.com and chose to join the LIMU Nation with us, my apologies if we never knew You were there. I thank You and am so happy that You have chosen our LIMU products!
If You were placed in The Orphanage, but You heard about it here, please contact The Limu Company LLC and tell them that You heard about the LIMU ORIGINAL juice, BLU FROG Energy drinks and/or LIMU LEAN Weight Management System from the Lady Limu Team and/or Barbara Thornton First and that You choose our Team for Your Sponsor.
So ends 2011 for me. Looking starkly in the mirror and seeing all that has been secret inside. Great feelings of guilt over things beyond My control and the reality that it is My life on the line. How i have taken myself away from the ones i hold dear to be true to some loyalty that was never quite clear.
I have tried to "fake it till you make it" way and cannot compete. I am simply who I Am and need'nt be more. While most of the attention is placed on the money to be made, the simple fact that got the whole thing started was an eagerness to bring health and healing to all.
On to 2012 i bid you adeu until then, to reconnect with my Self, My Family and my Friends. As I enjoy my sips of that golden nectar and allow relief with connection to all the other aspects of Me.
I hope You have a Safe and Happy New Year filled with The Blessing of peace and joy, health and prosperity always!
I'm Barbara A Thornton, 2B RecoverED because IAmLIMU Member 8536438
I'm happy to take Your call directly at 931.628.4355 or Email me at LadyLimu.com
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| It is our pleasure to help You! Hope for the Best and Prepare for the Worse with Healthy Food and Supplements for Survival. |

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