I am holding fast to 120 now. i have not weighed for the past 2 weeks. just avoiding the scale i guess. partly on a consious level, but also subconsously.
my Christmas present from my husband was a beautiful diamond set. at the time, we sized it for a 5. (my wedding band is a 4) after sizing it, i found it to be about 1/2 size too big as the ring would twirl around my finger and was only being held in place by my knuckle. well, lately - past week or so - it has been staying in place and the meat on the underside of my finger is holding it back from my knuckle. pretty amazing.
i was in between shipments of Limu last week. i did suppliment with B-complex vitamins and C also. i was out of Limu for 4 days. near the last day, i realized halfway through the day that i had not eaten yet. but seeings how i was already that far along in the day, i then made the consious decision to forgo the rest of the day until dinner time. knowing that Limu was on the way, i figured it would be o.k. so, the next day - yesturday, i had a late lunch, then my juice came and i had a big glass, by dinner time, i was still full from the huge lunch, so i ate some dinner and muffins for dessert.
i felt some control, however not the right kind, when i decided to forgo the food that day and the next. i would look at the food and then go about my business. sometimes i would say to myself 'eat, eat something' but then i would quiet that voice and be able to continue on my stubborn path of self determination.
all the while rationalizing that because i have the gift of Limu, i will be able to 'cheat' on this thing called anorexia. or e.d. yes, Limu is healing my body. i can see that and feel it. but it is i who has the power to heal my mind.
i have recently been in contact with my past childhood. an old chum of mine and i have found each other after 20 years and have opened doors that were shut for a long time.
i guess that is why i havn't written in a while. my mind has been cluttered with tragic events in my past that have, i am sure, been contributing factors in my e.d. (eating disorder).
as my body grows strong , so is my mind and spirit. with a strong body, i have more to fight back with. there are a lot of slings and arrows in this world. one has to be equipped to fight for their very survival, lest the evil of this world takes over our very lives.
2oz a day, 2times a day-everyday-gives my body the power to stand and fight for me. with my body on my side, i am more powerful than when i and my body are working against each each other.
Blessings of Peace and Health to You All!
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