Fell off the wagon

Well, today i am very discusted with myself. I hopped on the scale this a.m. and to my astonishment, i saw the numbers say only 105. What happened?!?
I thought i was doing well. But it is obvious that i was tricking myself. Thinking back over the last few days, i did skip breakfast almost every day and only a bowl of cereal for lunch, and a fairly good size portion for dinner.
Of course i am still drinking my juice. Thank God, He has given me this Original Limu to help my body and physiological functions. Now i just have to be very active in my eating practices.
I feel like if i skip breakfast, then i have more energy to get my "chores" done. See, when i eat, my stomach gets full and sleepy in my mind and eyes. So i was trying to get over this sleepy feeling, but i am going about it all wrong i see.
I was so proud of myself at 120. I felt like i was truely making it - to normal"ville". Now i feel very bad. Like i failed myself. I must keep up the good fight and not forget to fight back even against myself if i am trying to destroy myself.
I know this sounds crazy. I would say that i am crazy, except that i know i am not. I just have a crazy 'disease' that takes over my being. I am having a hard time putting this into words that would make sense to someone without an eating disorder (e.d.).
I welcome any comments that will help me and other readers of my blog to understand anorexia. Just when i thought i was in control of 'it', i find that it still is controlling me.
I must be vigilant and not give into the belief that i feel better when i do not eat.
Now i look at 120 as an almost unattainable thing again. I desperately want to be 125. That's 20 pounds from now. How long will it take? How much food do i have to eat? When will i be able to say that i am recovered?
Now i really know that i must Never stop drinking Original Limu. I am a far way from 100% recovery. The nutrition that Limu gives me is by far better than i allow myself to eat. Once agaain i am totally dependant on Limu. I know that my body is getting nutrients. I cannot be trusted to feed my body myself. I can however be trusted to feed myself this awesome, great tasting elixer for life. I thank God that He has provided this life sustaining product for me! Without this nutrition found in Limu, i fear i would have been hospitalized already. If nothing else, Limu has saved me from sickness (no flu for me or my family this season), and kept me healthy enough to take care of my family and myself.
Here's to more food intake! Oh. I did have a bowl of cereal this a.m. already.
Blessings of Peace and Health to y'all!