Feeling vs. Thought

Good Morning Fellow Citizens of Earth!

Well i think my anorexia had peaked in the 2 weeks prior to getting my daughter back from summer vacation. Now i am the way down back to a "normal" state of eating 3 squares. Although they may be smaller squares than average, but i am proud of myself when i accomplish that task throughout the day and into the night.

I say peaked because right after my girl came home, i weighed again for the 1st time since last weigh in and found i lost yet another pound. Now i am 114.

My body still seems the same. I can definately no longer fit into my 11yr old's size 1 jeans anymore. I am up to just about painted on size 2 (my former fat pants) and i really am comfortable in size 5. My breasts and arms are still continuing to gain mass.
This is not in large quantities at a fast rate like, say, weightlifting for bulk.
The mass is being built in a very subtle way. Very feminine. Very soft. Not strained or harsh like the tearing down of muscle tissue in order to build it back up.
Where i was last year is no comparison to what i look like this year. On my wasted and emaciated body, there has been a dramatic change of HEALTH. For lack of a better term.
I am amazed to discover the body that was there all along but was not allowed to flourish (For whatever each individual person's reason - both known and unknown to the sufferer).

There are plenty of times when i am Freaked Out by what this Healthy process is doing to the only body frame i had ever known. Learning that 'back fat' just comes with having boobs. Being repulsed at the sight of the way my bi-cepts jiggle at the bottom when i outstreatch my hand. Sitting down with a pair of size 2 jeans on and horrified when i look down and see my shirt raised over my 'belly folds'.
All these physical changes i have Never experienced before.
I am beginning to learn how to think Rationally and Realistically when those Feelings come up.

Instead of Feeling Freaked Out, I Think back that feeling with actual thoughts about how healthy i am becoming. I Realize and verbalize (even if only in my head) all the positive attributes that this New Body is giving to me. I am not sickly anymore. I have more energy. I have more clarity of mind.
When i Feel repulsed at the sight of this New and Improved Body, I verbalize that I do have to start excersizing more. With excersize, I will tone and tighten not only my arms, but every muscle on my entire body. However, that is all just muscle waiting to be taught how to be used.
When the Feeling of horror creeps into my being, I verbalize the reality and rational explanation that obviously those pants are too small. Too tight around the waist so it bunches all my guts in, up and out the top. I suppose it would be like i corsette imagine? When i get out of those tight waise pants, my body is "magically" transformed into a normal abdomen. Plus the pain is gone.

So I am getting through each day at a time. Trying to NOT be so hard on myself. Getting outside more and having fun with my Husband and Daughter.
Still "Drinkin' the Juice" :)

Don't forget to get your Juice at: www.DiscoverLimu.com/LadyLimu OR http://www.ladylimu.originallimu.com/


Blessings of Peace & Health, Enlightenment & Prosperity to You!

Barbara A Thornton - Lady Limu
TLC ID #: 8536438
1-888-8MY-Limu
1-888-869-5468